Confirming My Beliefs

I'm beginning to feel better. By which I mean I am riding the commuter train without gritting my teeth every.single.morning. While breakfast remains hit-or-miss in terms of staying power, my stomach generally accepts lunch and dinner without too much protest.

These past weeks of horrendous nausea, near-continuous vomiting, dehydration, and repeated trips to my midwife to beg for relief have done one thing: I am more firmly pro-choice than ever.

A coworker asked me how I felt, being pregnant now, about having worked for reproductive rights organizations. And I answered honestly that I find my time with them even more valuable.

Misconceptions about reproductive rights organizations (RRO) abound. The idea that we're baby haters couldn't possibly be farther from the truth. In my time with one organization, two of the women in my seven person department had children and coworkers couldn't possibly have been more excited. Two others had young children (under 5) at home. Babies were celebrated with showers; battle-hardened lobbyists would drop everything to see a visiting kid. Generous maternity leaves were encouraged and supported, as was flextime upon return.

All that aside, I am simply amazed at the demands of pregnancy, even this early on. I know that forcing myself to eat won't be hardest thing I ever have to do for this baby -- not by a long shot. But the once conceptual idea of requiring a woman to carry her pregnancy to term is now hugely repugnant to me.

I cannot imagine how I would've gotten through those days where morning (noon, and night) sickness forced me to the cool tile floor of the bathroom again and again if this pregnancy was unplanned or unwanted. How I would've kept eating, despite being in physical pain from doing so. How I would've managed the unrelenting fatigue.

Pregnancy certainly is amazing but it is difficult too. A difficulty I couldn't imagine bearing without a supportive partner, family, and employers.